That feeling when you’re hungry. And because you’re hungry, you gorge yourself because maybe all you need is a few thousand carbs. But then two hours later, stomach full of bloat, you still feel that emptiness. So its not the food, or some physical need. Its a mental, spiritual, emotional need. A need to calm the unsatiated pit that finds a home in your stomach, rendering you useless to do anything. Yea, it’s that feeling that compelled me to start this blog.
I’m hungry. I want more from life. I want more meaning, more experience, more opportunity. I just want more life. And it seems like the only plausible way to achieve this goal is through writing. I currently find myself tied down to a job, not something I am ungrateful for. This job keeps me busy and thoughtful and growing. But it also keeps me frustrated and with no time. So I am stuck in a shack in South LA, wanting more, and trying to get it through writing.
Writing has always been my means of expression. I am artistically challenged and suffer from severe daddy issues that have emotionally stunted my ability to orally communicate my emotions. Not to mention I have a slight lisp that was never quite fixed in grade school. So writing has always been the way in which I reflect, the way in which I relive and redefine experiences. Its how I have found meaning in the insignificant, how I’ve assigned importance to any event that has sparked some sort of emotion.
My thinking travels along the line of if writing is how I find significance, maybe more writing will mean more significance. Will mean more life. Basically, I’m trying to take more from my everyday. And writing is the way of doing it.
So here I am, beginning 2017, working in a middle school, and starting a blog – all to find a bit more meaning.